This week’s choice of eatery review was mainly down to a delayed hospital appointment at Fulwood Hall, the Liverpool v Southampton match, and an inability to think on or off my feet. In fact, there was no foot thinking at all. Forget about feet.

Instead of a leisurely meal at a Fulwood restaurant, I had to find a takeaway that wasn’t too much of a detour from the motorway and that would have something suitable for a semi-feral Liverpudlian who considers anything containing spice or vitamins on, in, near, or looking-at his food to be a threat to his soul, and missing the start of a Liverpool match as grounds to be stripped of his Scouse card.

Fortunately, I remembered my daughter GZ telling me about a newly-opened takeaway that was causing a stir on social media, so after a positive chicken-tender-check of the menu for the Scouser, we headed for Munch Box in St Mary’s Street just off Ribbleton Lane.

I’d initially intended to go for the Dad Box for £29.50, which contained one double smash burger, one sticky Korean grilled cheese, pulled chicken loaded fries, spicy bacon tots, buffalo tenders and coleslaw. However, it wasn’t available to collect.

I’m not sure why. Maybe they don’t want anyone doing their back in by trying to carry it without special training. Maybe, as it was the only box labelled spicy, Just Eat’s algorithms may have flagged up a Health and Safety warning because someone with a middle-aged Caucasian woman’s name is accidentally trying to order something hotter than a Weight Watchers prawn cocktail and nobody wants to be identifiable as the person who sold it to her.

Hard on the heels of that second surprise curveball, the Scouser suddenly remembered with horror that there were no beers in the fridge, ratcheting up the urgency for speed by another 50 per cent, so I just panic ordered a bunch of stuff and hoped for the best.

Back in Liverpool we unpacked our food. The first look was promising, despite everything being in polystyrene boxes, which made it a bit sweaty after its prolonged journey.

A double smash burger wasn’t just smashed, it was absolutely hammered.

The two flattened beef patties were 90 per cent surface area, which was charred to perfection, and the brioche bun had held up against the steam heroically. Two skinny slices of pickle were acting all hard while secretly bricking it because their life choices had led them from a wholesome start as a cucumber to being banged up with a load of buff beef and cheese.

It tasted as good as it looked and was sturdy enough to be the only thing I ate during the match, which was to be expected as, at £9.50 on its own, it wasn’t cheap.

A portion of sticky Korean fries for £7.29 – skin on fries, crispy chicken, sticky Korean sauce, spring onions, fresh chilli and sesame – looked like it hadn’t expected to see anyone, but that was fine because I was pretty scruffy myself by the time I’d finished it.

The chips were fresh, and there were enough crispy chicken pieces to make it a meal. The Korean sauce was delicious but, as it was extremely sweet, the generous amount that was poured over the food overwhelmed the chips and chicken, causing the perfect balance of sweet and savoury to be skewed.

Instead of safe, plain chicken tenders with a choice of dip for the Scouser, I’d accidentally ordered the Jerk option – three chicken tenders, jerk sauce, spring onions and fresh chilli – for £5.75.

After a period of time spent scraping off all traces of onion and chilli from the chicken because they fall into the Scouse food group categorised as ‘moody’, it was accepted and awarded ‘boss’ standard. I’d already had a taste of the chicken before it underwent the de-moody-ing process, and discovered that the sauce had a smoky, sweet, barbecue-like flavour. It also had a definite kick of heat before I resigned myself to hand-removing every single chilli pepper seed.

The last item I ordered was a portion of OG mac and cheese, described as original mac, garlic and herb parmesan breadcrumb and crispy onions for £7.

I love a good mac and cheese, but there’s always the danger when ordering it that some monster of a chef has added nutmeg to it. Thankfully there was no hint of it, but even if there was a trace it would have been completely drowned out by the taste of cheese, because it was the cheesiest – and possibly the best – mac and cheese I’ve ever had. There was no way that I could have managed a full portion in one sitting, but fortunately it had moody fried onions on top so I got to save the other half for later.

I’ll definitely order from Munch Box again as everything was top notch, and the staff were friendly and helpful. However, next time I’ll ask for the Korean sauce to be in a separate container so that I can tailor the amount of sweetness to my taste. I’ll also look more carefully at what I’m ordering so I don’t end up having to hand-groom three chicken tenders like a chimpanzee before I can eat anything.

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Have you or someone you love been affected by a few microscopic strands of spring onion on your chicken? Share the horror in the comments, don’t carry the burden alone.